{"id":3098,"date":"2017-04-13T15:30:04","date_gmt":"2017-04-13T15:30:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.kildare.ie\/ehistory\/?p=3098"},"modified":"2017-04-13T15:30:04","modified_gmt":"2017-04-13T15:30:04","slug":"how-owld-nick-escaped","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kildarelibraries.ie\/ehistory\/how-owld-nick-escaped\/","title":{"rendered":"HOW OWLD NICK ESCAPED"},"content":{"rendered":"

Leinster Leader<\/em>\u00a023 December 1933<\/strong><\/p>\n

HOW OWLD NICK ESCAPED<\/strong><\/p>\n

by<\/strong><\/p>\n

Padraig O\u2019Kennedy<\/strong><\/p>\n

(A Yarn of Rathangan which has a basis of truth in it)<\/p>\n

Owld Nick hopped out for a cooling stroll,<\/p>\n

Just missing a red-hot clinker of coal<\/p>\n

That skimmed his nose as he reached the gate<\/p>\n

Pursued by a horrible yell of hate,<\/p>\n

And whistling the melody \u201cHome, Sweet Home,\u201d<\/p>\n

He sped away over land and foam,<\/p>\n

Not minding whither his flight inclined<\/p>\n

So long as red Hades was left behind.<\/p>\n

Towns, cities, hills, valleys, the ocean vast<\/p>\n

Great rivers and lakes \u2013 all were swiftly passed:<\/p>\n

The moon had vanished and darkness fell<\/p>\n

As deep as the blackness of nether Hell<\/p>\n

And but for the glow of the lights below<\/p>\n

Owld Nick would have wondered what way to go.<\/p>\n

He had to get back before break of day,<\/p>\n

So he\u2019d make the most of his time away<\/p>\n

And, joining duty with pleasure, roam<\/p>\n

Till he found a guest for his \u201cLost Souls Home!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not the First time,\u201d and he grinned with glee,<\/p>\n

That I\u2019ve given a creature a lift!\u201d says he.<\/p>\n

But the grin soon faded for good and all<\/p>\n

When he found around him a black, black pall,<\/p>\n

So deep, so dense, that the bottomless pit<\/p>\n

Was the sun in the heavens compared to it!<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m lost,\u201d cried he as he scratched his pate,<\/p>\n

\u201cSo I\u2019d better drop down and investigate.\u201d<\/p>\n

He lit on the ground, stood a moment there<\/p>\n

In the awful darkness, quite unaware<\/p>\n

That the place he had dropped on, light as a hare,<\/p>\n

Was Rathangan, that famous wee town in Kildare!<\/p>\n

Kit Kearney that instant was chasing a cat<\/p>\n

Which was making away with a fowl, fine and fat,<\/p>\n

And, begad, he detected a horrible smell<\/p>\n

That could issue from nowhere except from Hell!<\/p>\n

The odour of brimstone, silo and dung,<\/p>\n

In dreadful mixtures, on all sides hung<\/p>\n

Kit cursed like mad as he held his breath,<\/p>\n

And flew to the kitchen pale as death,<\/p>\n

A word to the boys who were playing nap<\/p>\n

A rush up the street minus hat or cap \u2013<\/p>\n

A fierce collision \u2013 a hellish shout<\/p>\n

And Nick, the next minute, was down and out!<\/p>\n

Such fiendish luck! To have landed down<\/p>\n

(Of all places on earth) in the Border Town<\/p>\n

Where the Devil is held in the worst renown!<\/p>\n

Old Nick was captured in Leinster St.,<\/p>\n

And shackles were placed on his cloven feet.<\/p>\n

His tail was knotted around his waist,<\/p>\n

And over his horns a pot was placed.<\/p>\n

Tied with his tail in a Gordian knot,<\/p>\n

Crowned with a rusty, discarded pot,<\/p>\n

Kicked, cuffed and battered with belt and stick \u2013<\/p>\n

Twas a grand reception they gave Owld Nick!<\/p>\n

A Council of War with Kit in the chair<\/p>\n

Was held in the centre of Paradise Square<\/p>\n

Owld Nick in the middle, still as death<\/p>\n

With bulging eyeballs and panting breath,<\/p>\n

His tongue protruding, his nerves all gone \u2013<\/p>\n

Waiting the break of a fatal dawn: –<\/p>\n

One minute late at the nethermost gate<\/p>\n

Would doom Owld Nick to a terrible fate:<\/p>\n

Dethroned as Satan that moment, he<\/p>\n

The lowest minion in Hell would be,<\/p>\n

Flung to the mercy of all the rest<\/p>\n

Of those he had tortured with demon zest,<\/p>\n

With cruel horrible laugh and jest!<\/p>\n

The Council\u2019s minds made up at last,<\/p>\n

The following motion was put and passed: –<\/p>\n

\u201cResolved: That in view of the fact that we<\/p>\n

Have captured the King of Iniquity<\/p>\n

And hold him prisoner, fast and firm,<\/p>\n

So that he cannot move or squirm:<\/p>\n

(1) We\u2019ll keep him for a little while,<\/p>\n

Despite his odour, which is vile,<\/p>\n

(And which we, incidentally,<\/p>\n

Leave it to Owen J. Magee,<\/p>\n

Our worthy Chemist, to dispose of<\/p>\n

With every remedy he knows of<\/p>\n

Jeyes Fluid, Lysol, bags of Lime<\/p>\n

And do it in the quickest time).<\/p>\n

(2) We offer Satan quick release,<\/p>\n

Provided he will keep the peace<\/p>\n

By keeping far away from here<\/p>\n

Each day and night in every year.<\/p>\n

Instructing Agents on their rounds<\/p>\n

That Wee Rathangan\u2019s out of bounds,<\/p>\n

And must not evermore be made<\/p>\n

A centre for the Devil\u2019s trade.<\/p>\n

(3) If Satan makes the vow aforesaid,<\/p>\n

He be released and nothing more said.\u201d<\/p>\n

Twas a topping motion, you\u2019ll all agree,<\/p>\n

With not a loophole one could see,<\/p>\n

Compendious, courteous, water-tight,<\/p>\n

Embodying their view aright<\/p>\n

They daren\u2019t keep him, in point of fact,<\/p>\n

Because of a certain P.I Act,<\/p>\n

Against whose meaning, mood and tense<\/p>\n

Nick was a menace and offence<\/p>\n

Leaving that Act aside, you see,<\/p>\n

The lad was the worst of company,<\/p>\n

Whose presence, say, in Paradise Square,<\/p>\n

Was hardly to be looked for There!<\/p>\n

In short, it may be freely granted<\/p>\n

That Nick was neither loved nor wanted,<\/p>\n

And so, twas easy to make a case<\/p>\n

For keeping him out of the little place<\/p>\n

Owld Nick glanced round: he was caught as last<\/p>\n

And the precious minutes were speeding fast:<\/p>\n

Compelled to yield to superior force,<\/p>\n

He croaked in a voice grown thick and hoarse:<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll make a vow,\u201d and he gave a groan,<\/p>\n

\u201cOn one condition, and one alone:<\/p>\n

That you give me a drink of water, drawn<\/p>\n

From a Public Pump ere the break of dawn!\u201d<\/p>\n

No cheers went ringing across the Square<\/p>\n

From the crown of captors assembled there:<\/p>\n

Instead, dazed silence came floating down<\/p>\n

There wasn\u2019t a drop of Spring Water in Town ! ! !<\/p>\n

Long ere the dawn touched hill or lawn<\/p>\n

Owld Nick with a roar of derision was gone!<\/p>\n

The principal point of discussion now<\/p>\n

Is: – What becomes of the Devil\u2019s vow,<\/p>\n

In view of his captors\u2019 enforced omission<\/p>\n

To meet the Owld Reprobate\u2019s simple condition?<\/p>\n

The wise ones say, and they ought to know,<\/p>\n

That local affairs are in status quo!<\/p>\n

Re-typed by Jennifer O’Connor<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Leinster Leader\u00a023 December 1933 HOW OWLD NICK ESCAPED by Padraig O\u2019Kennedy (A Yarn of Rathangan which has a basis of truth in it) Owld Nick hopped out for a cooling stroll, Just missing a red-hot clinker of coal That skimmed his nose as he reached the gate Pursued by a horrible yell of hate, And […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3098","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-folklore"],"blocksy_meta":[],"featured_image_src":null,"featured_image_src_square":null,"author_info":{"display_name":"Kildare Local Studies","author_link":"https:\/\/kildarelibraries.ie\/ehistory\/author\/localstudies\/"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kildarelibraries.ie\/ehistory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3098","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kildarelibraries.ie\/ehistory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kildarelibraries.ie\/ehistory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kildarelibraries.ie\/ehistory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/12"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kildarelibraries.ie\/ehistory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3098"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/kildarelibraries.ie\/ehistory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3098\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kildarelibraries.ie\/ehistory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3098"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kildarelibraries.ie\/ehistory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3098"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kildarelibraries.ie\/ehistory\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3098"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}